That is a strange title for a blog post, isn’t it? But as of today, that is where I find myself. As of Monday evening, I am horseless. Meaning, I no longer have any horses. Death is a part of life. It’s inevitable. And when horses are a part of your life, it is inevitable that one day you will experience the loss of a beloved companion. And when you have senior horses, the possibility of having it happen is something you need to prepare yourself for.
But can you really ever prepare yourself for the passing of your horse? I don’t think so. At least I haven’t mastered that preparation. And I don’t think I ever will.
Sunday Was a Good Day
Let me go back to this past weekend. It was a beautiful weekend where I live. It was warm and sunny. A very mild few days which were perfect for doing barn chores, and just hanging out with Plezant. So on Saturday, we had a little bit of time grooming, filling hay nets for the week, and just having a great day.
Then on Sunday, I had a few video’s to film out in my tack room, and around Plezant. So all day was spent outside with my boy. And holy moly, it was a wonderful day. He was such a good boy. We had a riding session in the arena, and I spent a lot of time grooming him, as well as just petting him and talking to him. Horses are very good listeners in case you were wondering.

Just such a wonderful day. I have had a lot of good days with Plezant. But this day, was just a wow. Have you ever had a day like that with your horse? Not anything spectacular happened. But it was a day that I know I have always thought it wound every day would be with horses. These are the days that burn themselves into your memory.

And Monday morning was just a typical morning. I woke up, made Plezant’s breakfast, fed him, and left for work. Nothing out of the ordinary.
And while work is work, it’s always a wonderful feeling to be done with it, and go home. And Monday evenings are when I don’t do anything except come home and relax. So no plans to ride, or do anything with Plezant. He gets Monday’s off too.
And again, I got home, and everything was normal, until I went out to give Plezant his dinner that is.
How Do You Deal With the Unexpected?
I made his dinner and went out to feed him, and when I came around the corner of my house, I could see him lying in his pen. He doesn’t lie down in his pen. I started calling his name, and he wasn’t moving. I started screaming his name, and he wasn’t moving. I made my way a little closer, and I could tell that he was gone.
I didn’t know what to do. I was terrified. What do you do when your horse dies at home? I had no idea.
I called my vet to advise me what to do, and she did. So I called the Animal Recovery service, and they came out and took Plezant away.
For 2 days I haven’t been able to bring myself to go out to his pen. Tuesday night I could finally look into his pen, and it may sound silly, but I was terrified I would see him lying there still even though I knew he was gone. But I looked, and he wasn’t there. I was grateful for that.
Learning to be Horseless
It has been a very odd past few days. I haven’t had to get up early to get Plezant’s breakfast ready. When I get home, I don’t have to make his dinner or clean his stall. I feel empty, like I don’t know what I should be doing. I have always had at least one horse for at least the last 25 years of my life. What do I do now?
Do I blame myself for the way I cared for him that caused this to happen? Yes, that thought has passed through my thoughts more than once. But then I remember that he was older, and death comes to us all eventually. Do I walk through everything that happened prior to his death and wonder what happened? Almost every waking moment of the day. He was gone so suddenly the shock of his death still hangs over me. But every day it seems a tiny bit better. But I need to get back to my normal. That is one of the reasons I am writing this post. It helps me to process, and move forward.
But I have to also say it has been very hard to lose 2 horses in the past 12 months. And yes, they were both senior horses, over 25 years of age, but I still get a nagging thought from time to time that I’m the one to blame. I guess that is one of the dangers of having horses, especially as they get older. I just can’t bring myself to sell them. I love them.

They are my friends, my confidants, my buddies. And without a horse in my life, I feel really empty. So I know I won’t be horseless for very long, I just can’t. Even my husband is figuring out our finances so we can find a new four-legged family member sooner rather than later. And I am planning for that for sure. But I think this time, I’m not going to be looking at a senior horse. I know things happen with horses, and we never know when something could cause death. But with a senior horse, the inevitability of that happening sooner, rather than later, well I just don’t think I could handle that.
Looking Forward
So while I am horseless for now, I will be spending some time with my thoughts, and getting through my grief. But I am here and will continue to be here. And with extra time on my hands, and wanting to stay busy I am sure I will have lots to write about. So for now I say goodbye to my sweet boy Plezant. I love you buddy, and I will say one more time like I always did before I left you for the day….Have a good day, eat lots, sleep well, and I will see you soon.
Oh Lisa! I’m so very sorry to hear of your loss. You are in my thoughts!
I am so sorry for your loss. When did you lose Frisby? I did not read a blog and I went back and looked and there wasn’t one. What happened to him? Don’t let yourself go too long without a horse, they bring so much joy! Praying for you during this hard time.
Hi Kayla,
I had Frisby put down on 12/16/22 due to his cushings. I think I added a little something about it in a blog post, but didn’t really get too into it.
Hi Lisa, I am sending much love to you at this time, you looked after both your boys in a way you should be proud of. Loosing Plezant is a shock, trust the process of grief it will carry you through , so love to you from my family to your family xxxxx❤️
🙂 🙂 🙂 Thank you for your kind words 🙂
Please do not blame yourself about Plezant’s death. That horse lived like a king and I can’t think of one thing you didn’t do to ensure the best of care. I am so sorry for your loss and know some of your grief as I have had to both euthanize and just find one dead or dying of no apparent cause. Blessings to find your new horse(s) and look forward to seeing what shows up at your barn.
🙂 🙂 🙂 Thank you
Oh no, I am so very sorry. You took outstanding care of your horses. He was happy and loved until the day he died, and no one can ask for better than that.
🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂 Thank you so much for your kind words
Sending Hugs and Love to you. I know Frisby and Plezant had amazing lives with you as their horsey mama. I lost my TWH and my QH within 3 months last year. I know of your emptiness and heartbreak and I don’t have any magic words for you. I am so glad you had a great Sunday with him and can look back at your memories. I wish you luck and patience in finding your next partner.
Lisa, I am so sorry you are going through grieving the loss of two horses at the same time. I now have a coffee mug that goes along with my book Grieving the Loss of Your Horse: How to Survive Your Journey. I would love to send you one free of charge. It says: “My Horse is Waiting for Me in Heaven.” and it has the same picture as the cover of my book. I lost your address so please privately email it to me again so I can get the coffee mug to you. Praying you get through this heartbreaking season and find more special horses to give a good home.